Put a visual to the word ‘balance’.
Do you see yourself working on a laptop on a beach while your nanny plays in the the ocean with your kids and your new husband (Justin Timberlake, of course) makes lunch on a cute portable bbq you got for a great deal at Costco? Or, do you see an elephant in a tutu carrying a lacy pink umbrella, balancing on a rope, terrified to fall into the pit of judgemental, gossiping crocodiles snapping at her ankles? Both are very different ideas of balance. And very unrealistic. Just like balance.
Wanna know what IS realistic? Forgiveness, compassion, and moderation.
First of all- forgive yourself for not being perfect. (I work on this one on the daily.) I look at my family photo over the fireplace and LAUGH. That family is so beautiful. Everyone in nice clothes, smiling, looking all well- behaved and polite…. My real family is a bunch of loud, crazy monkeys fighting over the last cookie or even more annoyingly fighting over who gets to sit beside ME at the dinner table (the odd time we all sit down to eat together). Flattering, yes, but I’m over it. I just wanna eat.
Then- realize you’re just doing your best. If you know you’re not doing your best think about why you’re not and dig back in to the why’s until you find the reason for the block. Write it out. If you do it like me you should at some point be crying. Possibly swearing. Crumpling your paper. You get the idea.
Also think about moderation. You can have too much of anything. Or too little. Love, fear, cats, Cheetos, kale, fun, self-help books, gambling, Justin Timberlake, laundry. Moderation goes hand in hand with boundaries. If you love too much with no boundaries you could become the source for energy vampires to get their self esteem fix. If you do too much laundry you might miss out on the deer in your back yard or your kid creating a masterpiece with blue crayon on your wall (personal experience).
The closest thing to ‘balance’ I can relate to is a constant effort to forgive myself. Showing compassion to myself has had a magical effect in all areas in my life. The pressure is off. If I make a mistake, oops! I know better now. Its that simple.
So, pressures off ladies. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, unbalanced. I promise its much more fun!